Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Sustainable Efficient Business

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

 Written by - Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy

“It's not the most powerful animal that survives, it's the most efficient” - UFC Champion George St- Pierre

What if all the financial advice you've gotten was wrong? What if following the industry leaders is the worst thing you could do? What if changes in the world made all the old rules obsolete?

If you ran your window cleaning business according to the old rules (the ones that applied before the great worldwide recession) you created a detailed 5 year business plan, went searching for people to lend you money, bought brand new vans, uniforms and anything else you could think of, dumped a ton of $$$ into advertising your business and hopefully it was all a smashing success.

“You gotta spend money to make money !” was the mantra of the time. “Go big or go home !” echoed in our ears.

Unfortunately, the sizzle of easy money and high living fizzled into the damp fart of debt and stagnation.

The quicker we realized that there never existed such a thing as “easy money” in the first place, the better we became at adapting to this new environment.

The firm economic bedrock that we assumed was holding all of us up turned out to be a thin sheet of ice. The heavier companies, straddled with debt and high overhead quickly started to fall through this ice. I saw the big operations around me – the carpet cleaners and window cleaners who had glossy vans, mailed out thousands of mailers and even advertised on big billboards start to go out of business.

In this environment of failure, I started to write my own rules. Rules that kept me on the ice.

RULE (1): Advertising Is a Sign of Failure. The less you can spend on advertising, the more you will have for the running of your business and the retention of customers.

The heavy companies who fell through the ice were used to unlimited customers. Advertise more, get more customers. Rushing through jobs, skimping on quality – that was all necessary to make enough $$ to pay for the advertising to keep the whole thing going. They ignored REALITY (1): There is a finite number of customers who can pay for your service.

RULE (2): Do each job as if your window cleaning business depends on it. Say to yourself: “HOW I do this job IS the advertising. HOW I do this job IS the marketing”

When I had no money for sending out mailers, let alone spending $3,000 on a fancy vehicle wrap. I shaved my face and tucked in my shirt, I was polite and grateful. I was exactly on time to my window cleaning appointment. I worked with laser like focus on each job to produce high quality results. I asked the customer at the end of the job when I could see that they were blown away by the quality, “ My business depends on word of mouth, could you please spread the word .” REALITY (2): Your customer is your best (and free) form of advertisement. Customer retention and referral is low cost and effective.

RULE (3): Know your Customers

Know their names when you come to the door. Remember that their dog's name is, “Sprinkles”. Remember that they like gourmet coffee and watching football.

I have a freaky memory and can remember all of my customers first and last names along with a mental picture of their house. When a previous customer calls and says, “Hi this is Mr. Smith over in Osterville... I say, “Bill Smith, with the blue and white colonial on Main st, right?” Nine times out of ten, I hear a jump in the warmness in their voice. “Yes, that's right !”

If you don't have a freaky memory, make notes in your database - a few simple things. Don't go overboard, no one likes a stalker. Treating your customers like family means taking note of the little things. REALITY (3): As the economy shifts more and more into the service sector, you are not the only window cleaner. Companies that will survive are the ones that personalize their service and treat customers for the unique individuals that they are.

RULE (4): Tie a String Around Your Customers Finger

REALITY (4): People are busy, they have a million little tasks to do. Last year's customer may remember that you did a fantastic job cleaning their windows, but they just as often forget your name and number. Sending out reminder postcards or better yet emails (free) 2-4 times a year to your existing customers helps them remember to give you a call. Even more effective, put them on a cleaning schedule, that way they'll know that their windows will always stay clean.

RULE (5): Run Your Household Like a Business.

Many new business owners grasp that they have to be methodical about running their actual business, but they often neglect the business of running a household. Being disciplined with personal spending habits will often make or break a business. Too many new business owners rush out and buy a new X-Box or $200 pair or sneakers at the first inkling of business success. Success comes from within and radiates outward. The creation of effective routines for living will spill over into your business. The maintenance of your physical, mental and spiritual health, and the stable relationships you build within your home will enhance the effectiveness of your business pursuits.

REALITY (5): You can't be an effective business leader when your personal life is a hot mess. Partying late at night, fights with your significant other – this drama will leave you drained and distracted at work and it will undermine your efforts.

Building your window cleaning business to be sustainable, creating a base of customers who are loyal and keep using your service year after year can be slow going at first. But if you focus on people instead of chasing illusions of quick money, your customer base will stay with you and help you grow.

Running a business can transform you. Instead of hiding in a cubicle amid a large bureaucracy, divorced from the immediate cause and effect of your actions, you can start seeing how your day to day actions create your reality. The attitude you have towards people, the way you think, talk and walk will produce concrete results in your life. 

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - The Subconscious

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

 Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy

I woke up this morning 5 seconds before the alarm on my phone went off. Sometimes it's 10 seconds, sometimes 30. But always it's close.

How does my body know to wake up that precisely? It's not just due to repetition because sometimes I set the alarm for 6:00, other times 6:30 and on the weekends, I'll even sleep in to 7:00.

It's the deeper brain that does the remembering for me. The subconscious mind. 

Like an iceberg, the tip of which floats above water the conscious mind is the small part of us exposed to the air. It has the ability to focus and think. But deeper below the surface there is much more to us than the part that asks; “where are my car keys? , I think I'm going to make toast, hey look an airplane!” 

Like a good team, your brain needs to work together if you want to imagine and realize your potential. No one part can do all the work. 

Most likely, though it is your conscious mind that is the real slacker. The part that keeps repeating song lyrics and forgets where you put the car keys. The part that worries about your bank account and wonders if your favorite T.V. Show will get canceled. 

It's not your fault, though. Besides the fact that your parents or teachers smacked you in the cranium from time to time and said, “pay attention”, most likely, you were never really taught to focus your mind. 

The way I ran my window cleaning business in the first year, I could have used a light rapping on the noggin. I had no system for organizing my window cleaning gear, I had no systematic way of pricing jobs, let alone a good style of interacting with the customer. 

You can imagine that the results weren't always spectacular. Rushing around trying to figure out which window I cleaned last and whether I was going left to right or right to left with the order. My supplies scattered throughout the house. 

Now, I realize that the scatter-shot approach wasn't just due to my inexperience, it was the result of a disorganized mind. 

Later, through hypnosis and meditation I learned to focus my mind and my problems with losing my car keys, running out of gas and burning the toast came to an end... and my business improved too. 

I also started to see how my conscious mind was programming my subconscious mind on a daily basis. Feeding it thoughts and emotions. Obsessively listening to the “fear factory” as I call the news was regularly sending thoughts of worry and anxiety to my subconscious mind. Watching pointless T.V. Shows filled with petty drama increased this feeling dread even more. 

 

Becoming aware of your self talk can help you in your window cleaning business immensely. What are you saying about other people, what are you saying about what you like and dislike? 

“I hate people, I hate cleaning these kinds of windows, I hate when it's raining.” 

If you are feeding yourself thoughts like those, you shouldn't be surprised when people start crossing the street to avoid you. 

However, the funny thing is that you don't need to feed yourself good thoughts. You only need to point yourself in the right direction and focus to become a magnet for the things you need. You deeper mind already knows. 

Like the Rolling Stone song says: “You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes, well you might find You get what you need” 

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Thanksgiving Musings

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

 Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy

Coincidence #1

My pre-Thanksgiving tradition of gorging myself on Chinese takeout while watching the original Twilight Zone yielded the seed that would grow into this blog involving window cleaning and obscure social theory.

You see, when I popped open the fortune cookie, a wise little paper banner unfurled which perfectly embodies the Thanksgiving spirit: “If you don't enjoy what you have, how could you be happier with more?”

I guess there is a synchronicity at work in the universe. When takeout food, holidays and my writing schedule align.... kapow!

Coincidence #2

Putting off the writing of this blog article, I reached for a book which chronicled the 2008 economic collapse and the dwindling post industrial American landscape through personal narratives – I know the perfect book to settle your stomach after you've eaten too much, right?

Opening the book in the middle to a random page, it so happened that this page briefly lays out Mimetic Desire – exactly what I had been thinking about over the past few days but without a fancy name to gift wrap it for the mind.

Mimetic Desire is the theory proposed by Rene Girard to explain why humans seem to want the same things. It states that people want and value things because other people want and value them. Little Freddy is happy playing with the toy motorcycle and doesn't even care about that toy tug boat in the corner until little Bobby grabs it. Now, suddenly the tugboat is all little Freddy can think about. After seeing little Bobby cut through imaginary waters to pull valuable freight to the shores, little Freddy cannot stop until he is the captain of that magnificent vessel.

This phenomenon of desiring what other's have is, according to Girard, the root of human conflict.

This got me to thinking about why I went into window cleaning. When I made the decision to start a business, I did the opposite of what Mr. Girard says many of us do. I tried to pick something that I thought no one else was doing.

I looked around and saw landscapers and house painters and the occasional carpet cleaning van driving through my town. But, I didn't see a single soul cleaning windows. Maybe it helped that I lived in “the rain-belt” near Seattle. The grayest, rainiest part of the country was surely not the epicenter of the window cleaning industry.

But even here in sunnier Cape Cod, Massachusetts, I rarely see other window cleaning vans driving down the streets. And even fewer people evidently want to scoop out people's gutters as I hear all the time from customers who say they can't find anyone to do the task.

Maybe that's the secret to economic well being, if not exactly riches : 1) pick something that no one else is doing.

And if that becomes increasingly difficult, go to step 2) Pick an area where no one else is marketing to.

My friend Jonny Alden of Jonny Windows picked an neglected side of town where no other window cleaners were interested in servicing. Building up a route of customers, he established a thriving business over time.

It takes more imagination to come up with a plan to do something that no one else is doing, but the rewards can be greater than dropping your line in the water where everyone else is fishing.

Hopefully, my window cleaning efforts will stay on the sidelines as I grow my company. But I've got a few back up plans if everyone start diving into cleaning windows in the future: 1) pet taxidermy. Who doesn't want dear sweet Muffy the kitty princess next to their bedside stuffed and preserved for all time? 2) Surrogate Vacationing. It's a lot of work going on vacation, packing bags, catching flights. I'll do the work for you, take lots of pictures and give you a slide-show of all the places “we” went together.

So, in the meantime: keep a lid on how great window cleaning is. The less we praise it's hidden pleasures, the less competition we'll have.

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Fatigue Makes Cowards Of Us All

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy: “Fatigue makes cowards of us all” – Vince Lombardi

As a coward and as a tired person, I understand what old Vince was trying to say. He's saying that when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how much you hope, wish and pray, that old Chevy wont make it to the top of the hill if it doesn't have enough gas in the tank. 

Old Vince was talking about preparation - everything that needs to happen prior to that “big moment.” In sports, it's when there is only seconds on the clock and the game is tied. 

In window cleaning, it's when the sun is setting, and the customer wants you gone, but you still have 5 more windows to clean and fifty screens to re-install. You are weak, tired and hungry and you don't know if you can finish the job. The worst part is that you can't come back tomorrow or the day after because you are booked solid for a month.

No catchy phrases or eye-of-the-tiger theme music is going to get you through this. 

In truth, the help you needed at your 5 o'clock “moment of truth” should have happened much earlier. Think for a moment: 

What if you stretched for an hour and went to bed at early instead of catching up with your friends at the bar? 

What if you had organized your window cleaning gear the night before so you could wake up and tackle the day ready? 

What if you prepared a nutritious lunch the night before, so you wouldn't have to waste time grabbing a greasy burger from the local fast food joint or even worse skipping lunch entirely causing you to stumble and bumble through your window cleaning battle in a weakened frazzled state. 

“Be prepared”, is the Boy Scout's motto. As one of the worst boy scouts in North America, I remember enviously gazing at the wise scoutmaster's well stocked tent full of useful provisions. As I trudged towards my sad barren little tent devoid of even a sleeping bag (that's how ill prepared I was in those days) to shiver as vigorously as I could to keep warm for the night, I thought, “one day I will be prepared.” 

That day finally came.... 25 years later. 

If it had come earlier, I might be an investment banker, a scientist, or perhaps a great philanthropist. 

But at least I am a limber, organized, uninjured, and well fed window cleaner. And not a frantic, starving, disorganized wreck of a human being frantically looking for a fresh rubber and a dry cloth in a disorganized heap of a work van.... no that was last year.

Jesse's tip for winter warmth.

How to stay warm this winter: 

2 lbs coarsely ground chuck 2 (16 ounce) cans red kidney beans, drained and rinsed 2 (14 1/2 ounce) cans diced tomatoes 2 medium onions, coarsely chopped 1 green pepper, seeded and coarsely chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 2 -3 tablespoons chili powder 1 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon cumin salt
1) Brown ground chuck on top of stove, drain fat.
2) Put ground chuck and the rest of the ingredients in a 5-quart crockpot before you go to bed
3) Wake up and scoop hot chili into thermos
4) Drive to your window cleaning job with the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having a hot lunch ready when you need it

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Eccentric Rich

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Eccentric Rich... Up Close & Personal: One of the best things about being a window cleaner is the chance to observe the lives of the eccentric rich... up close and personal.

History is rich with tales of wacky aristocrats and the strange things they are compelled to do.... or just plain enjoy doing.

Take for example Francis Edgerton, the 8th Earl of Bridgewater. A scholar and aristocrat, he took pleasure from the finer things in life. Things like throwing elaborate dinner parties for his canine companions. Dressing them up in fancy petticoats and leather boots, he sat them at his table, serving them elaborate meals from fine china.

Jemmy Hirst of Yorkshire, was another odd one. Instead of a horse drawn carriage, he preferred his bull, Jupiter, to pull his oddly shaped wicker carriage about town. He even tossed a saddle on old Jupiter from time to time for fox hunts with his pack of trained hunting pigs.

My own witness to eccentricity concerns not the “master of the house”, but one of the “servants.” A wild Frenchman house cleaner. One of those rare specimens who doesn't seem to give a crap what anyone thinks of him.

One who is completely free.... or completely nuts (depends how you look at it).

I ran across this fellow a couple of years ago while I was cleaning the windows of a very large home with a spectacular ocean view. The owner of the house, a modern day aristocrat, introduced me to him with a wink.

At first, I did not know what that wink meant. Soon enough, I did.

As I was cleaning the interior windows, I got to talking to this little rascal of a man. He was dressed in a pair of old sweat pants rolled up to the knees and and an equally worn t-shirt. Atop his balding head was a cap much like the one Jacques Cousteau wore on his ocean expiditions.

“So, you clean zee f***ing windows, eh?” he said cheerfully. I was a little taken aback when he started in with the “F word”, but he seemed friendly enough. “Yeah, sure”, I said. “It's my job.”

“Good, good, a strong young one to clean zee f***ing windows. Climbing zee f***ing ladders, scrub, scrub, squeegee, squeegee.... it takes the young ones who are strong an peppy. Me, I'm too 'f***ing old for that s**t !” he said, waving his arms about.

I couldn't help but start laughing - this little old man, dropping f-bombs that echoed through the hallways like silverware falling to the floor.

“You think zat's humorous, getting old and wrinkled like a raisin?” He said. “Don't worry, you'll be old and feeble soon enough...... look at me, cleaning zee house like a women, eh?”

I didn't correct him - didn't tell him, I was laughing at his choice (or lack thereof) of words. But there was a child-like innocence to it, really.

If swearing was like nudity, he wasn't the perverted flasher who liked to offend and embarrass, but rather the carefree nudist who couldn't be weighed down by the heavy clothing that binds the rest of us.

Or, maybe, he was like a free flying bird lettings his droppings fall where they may, unconcerned if they landed in the wrong spot.

Being my first year in the window cleaning business, I was still very uptight about saying the right thing and not rubbing the customer the wrong way. I imagined that I had to be very careful not to ruin a good thing when I landed a big job with lots of windows like this.

I pictured the customers in the fancy houses as being very prim and proper, so I was surprised how a guy like this was able to work in these big houses.

But then again, maybe someone who has all the money in the world gets bored after awhile. Maybe Jacques the naughty house cleaner is like the court jester in days of old. Perhaps, the wealthy get tired of everyone kissing their hindquarters.

Who really knows what people get a kick out of. Maybe it takes all kinds to make the world go round, I thought.

"Fly free, you crazy Frenchman, fly free” I thought to myself as I scrubbed, scrubbed, and squeegeed, squeegeed my way through the job.

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Fortune Teller

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Fortune Teller: This week's comic strip was inspired by the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts. You know, where the pilgrims landed and started this grand experiment we call the United States.

One of the funny things about Plymouth, apart from the ridiculous disappointment of the tiny “Plymouth Rock”, is that it has quite a few little shops with signs for “Psychic Readings”, “Palm Readings” “Tarot Cards” and so forth. This, coming from a place that would burn you alive and chuck you over a cliff for said shenanigans, back in the old days when whistling a tune and dancing were illegal.

Thankfully no one even gave me a dirty look while I was whistling and cleaning windows in downtown Plymouth last week near these Pagan Parlors of Palmistry and Perfunctory Psychic Prognostication.

And while I was twirling my squeegee, I got to thinking about what it would be like to have my future revealed. Assuming I even believed in their ability to see into the future (and my unpredictable, meandering trajectory, to boot) the question arose, “would I even want to know it?”

It would be nice to know that when “shuffling off this mortal coil”, it would be an act of great heroism. For example, diving in front of a bus to rescue a child who would turn out to be the next Gandhi. But what if I died on the crapper clipping my fingernails? How is that going to inspire me to get out of bed each day?

And even if the psychic in question could see my future, would they give me the straight dope, or something that sounded prettier so they could get their $29.95 without having to hear the whiny complaints of a window cleaner.

I don't know, maybe I'm missing out. Maybe it's not all about me. Maybe I could clean their windows in exchange for knowledge about potential clients. “So, Madam Blavatsky who's got the cash and a kid who's getting married..... yes, I know that people get married in a church or synagogue, but they will want clean windows for the reception at their house – I need names and addresses !”

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy - Touch Up A Spot

“Off the Deep End” - A weekly window cleaning cartoon strip by Jesse Green.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy- Touch Up A Spot: I titled my window cleaning series, “Off the Deep End” because much of the humor I see in the gentle art of window cleaning comes from from rants to my wife after I come home from a job. You know, the typical stuff: everything from the guy who won't get out of your way when you're cleaning store front windows to the weird nude sculpture obstructing a residential window. Is it ever okay to lift a sculpture by the boob in order to move it away from the window you are trying to clean?

These, and other, weighty topics, I will be exploring in my comic strip which is clearly, off the deep end.

This cartoon strip is a poke at our beloved window cleaning customers. Like all good patrons, they pay your bills but also occasionally drive you nuts.

Laughing at your customers is only mean spirited if you assume that your behavior never warrants a good laughing at. For instance, I am 100 % positive that my mechanic has had many a good laugh (with his mates at the pub) over some of the ridiculous questions I have asked him. Like when he tells me my transmission is trashed and I ask, “can't you just bang it with a wrench?”

After he bangs me in the head with a wrench, he kindly explains that he is a real mechanic and my old jalopy needs as much attention as my tender cranium.

In this spirit of compassionate laughter, I offer this window cleaning cartoon strip which explores the question: “Do you mind hopping up there and touching up that window?”

This question, by the way, is usually asked after I have put away all my window cleaning gear, including strapping my ladders to my van, pouring out my bucket and stowing my squeegees in their bins. And of course, the window the customer wants me to “hop up to” is the least accessible of the bunch!

Here are 3 possible responses to my hopping ability: 

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts: Hi, my name is Jesse Green. I have the fortunate job of cleaning windows and gutters in a really great place - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I fell in love with the area when I came to see my friends get married here. The history, the natural beauty, and most of all the people won me over. I have been very fortunate. Cape Codders have welcomed me with open arms – spreading the word and referring me to friends and family.

Jesse Green The Cartoon Guy

Jesse says it how it is.

Jesse Green of Sparkle King in Cape Cod, Massachusetts has been on the blog before & featured elsewhere here on the blog. His window cleaning cartoons have been popping up all over facebook & the one above in particular caught my eye. It seems like Jesse is your deep thinker & ponderer on life, shown from many other cartoons that are not window cleaning related, he also takes some of his manifestations from dreams.. there's six months of work there for any psycho-analyst! Jesse will be contributing on a regular basis, so sit back & have a laugh.

Jesses Cartoon speech bubble hat.

When?  "I just started drawing cartoons and publishing them on my website and facebook about a month ago. I have never published cartoons anywhere before that. My "art career" started in the public school system where I doodled to escape the boredom of the government mandated school / prison system."

Why? "I was a persistent doodler all my life and drew just for the fun of it. I went to graphic design school later on as an adult but hated the way many of the teaches openly criticized students work... some of the teachers were pretty much like chef Gordon Ramsey on Kitchen Nightmares."

The How? "I don't think I stood out as an exceptional artist in the 1st year of art school that I attended as far as technical ability, but I did notice that I could just sit down with a blank piece of paper and draw for hours without looking at anything. There were artists who could look at something at draw it perfectly but couldn't come up with any ideas of their own. I guess I am blessed with diarrhea of the imagination, having no shortage of ideas yet."

This Weeks Cartoon? "This story of the window cleaning clown haunting the streets of Nottingham, England was just too good too pass up. As soon as I read about this creepy window cleaner, I had to make a comic strip. In terms of sheer creepiness of various clowns I've developed the following ranking: creepy clown trying balloon animals gets a 3/10 in creepiness which is enough to elicit a mild nightmare. Next up a clown selling ice cream, ranks significantly higher at 6/10 on the creep-o-meter simply for the fact that he's got sugary sweets that the young ones can't get enough of AND a vehicle for stashing bodies. But creepy window washing clown takes the cake because he's not just milling around in public, he's at YOUR house staring inside YOUR windows. Creepy window cleaning clown gets a 9/10 in my book. The only thing scary is a creepy clown proctologist (not pictured)."