Obama Calls Window Washing Union To Hire More Cleaners

"Let's just say the window washers union had better start posting help wanted ads now." The Strategic Dome Initiative offers $1 billion in funding to erect a translucent, impenetrable dome over the continental United States that would not only deflect missiles launched from anywhere in the world, but also meteors falling from the sky and other as yet unidentified apocalyptic events.

Obama Okays Giant Dome Missile Defense Shield (Washington D.C.) - President Obama has announced his support of the Pentagon's latest plan to provide a missile defense system for the United States, even though it does not include lasers, invisible jets, or invisible jets with lasers.

The Strategic Dome Initiative offers $1 billion in funding to erect a translucent, impenetrable dome over the continental United States that would not only deflect missiles launched from anywhere in the world, but also meteors falling from the sky and other as yet unidentified apocalyptic events. "I prefer to think of it as more of a, uhh, force field than a dome," Obama told reporters. "Think Star Wars, not New Orleans Saints."

He demonstrated by tossing a dart at an upside-down glass salad bowl and shushing everyone to listen to the resulting plink as the dart bounced off the glass. "That's the sound of American lives being saved," he added. Obama pointed out that not only will SDI provide a defense system unparalleled in American history, but also a multitude of jobs to design, create and maintain what's being dubbed Operation Freedome.

"Let's just say the window washers union had better start posting help wanted ads now," he noted. Critics are calling the plan's feasibility into question - most notably the fact that the dome won't cover either Alaska or Hawaii, instead using the two outlier states as an "early warning system" so the Pentagon knows when to activate the Freedome over the mainland. "Come on, let's be serious: a dome that reaches all the way out to Hawaii would have to be ginormous," said Defense Secretary Leon Panetta. "There's no way we could build something that big. "Besides, Alaska has that really odd shape that just doesn't lend itself to good orbicular qualities,"

Panetta added. Panetta acknowledged that future defense plans could include mini domes for Hawaii and Alaska, "assuming they don't get blown out of the water before we can get them built." The White House has commissioned a number of environmental impact studies and has promised to publicize all the favorable ones before construction gets underway later this year.

Critics of the unique plan believe the dome-like structure will turn America into an undesirable artificial environment without wind, rain, snow or excessive hot and cold swings, like living in the Mall of America.

Obama Borrows From Reagan’s Star Wars Plan to Build Global Warming Defense: Lame duck President Barack Obama got tree huggers all hot and bothered when he focused more time on fighting global warming than any other single issue during his ill advised inaugural address. But don’t expect a an old fashioned Al Gore video assault on SUV drivers. Obama is going back to the future to steal ideas from Ronald Reagan’s famous Star Wars plan to fight the sun’s warm rays.

“Most people don’t realize how far ahead of his time President Reagan was,” said an Obama science adviser. The media painted him as an out of touch old man talking about shining cities up on a hill, but he was really on to something with his Star Wars plan…. he was just a President way ahead of his time.”

PalookavillePost.com has learned that President Obama is planning to construct a giant dome-like structure over the entire United States to stop the effects from the warmth from the sun. Obama’s high paid scientists believe Reagan’s Star Wars plan will work because fighting global warming is a hot war, and Reagan was mistakenly trying to use it in a cold war battle.

Critics of the unique plan believe the dome-like structure will turn America into an undesirable artificial environment without wind, rain, snow or excessive hot and cold swings, like living in the Mall of America. Others believe the dome could create unintended hazards to people the White House has not considered.

“When I was a kid we used to take a magnifying glass to burn up ants when we focused the sun rays directly on the little creatures,” said incoming White House Chief of staff Dennis McDonough. “It sure was a lot of fun, but seeing that kind of power from the sun did make me very, very humble…. I just hope the sun doesn’t burn us to death like those poor little ants.”

Early proponents of Obama’s plan say that this enormous construction project ties together perfectly with the President’s plan to make all Americans working Americans, even though it is probably not what they understood the President meant when he said he planned to lower unemployment rates, and that the top 1% would take care of their needs.

Done before.. the Simpsons also featured an episode when a giant dome en capitulated the city.

“The President said up front that he plans to fundamentally change America and we all must chip in to see his vision come to fruition,” said White House spokesman Art Carney. “Workers on the new construction project will receive room and board and a few hours off each day for rest. And the food won’t be bad because Michelle Obama is in charge of the menu.”

After President Obama downsizes the armed forces to practically nothing, old military bases will be used as something called “Konzentrationslagers” for the formerly unemployed workers to live in, and enjoy peaceful comradeship as they prepare to  contribute to society as a whole instead of selfishly satisfying their own needs. Cell phones will be included.

“President Obama is combining several of his favorite artistic works together to create an American Utopia that no one but he could ever imagine,” Carney added. “Combing great works of art into a single vision is a stroke of genius… aggregating ideas from films like Star Wars and The Truman Show, with books like Animal Farm and Mein Kampf, with songs like Back in the USSR and Back on the Chain Gang will make Obama’s new world a place people cannot refuse to live in…. pretty soon Obama’s America will live up to it’s enormous potential.”

The Palookaville Post has learned that there are no plans to hire Al Gore or any other super stars of the over the top environmental movement for a public campaign on the suspect dangers of global warming. President Obama plans on promoting the plan and overseeing construction himself from a his Western White House in Hawaii, which will be conveniently excluded from the confines of the devilish Star Wars Dome. The President excludes himself from Obamacare laws too.

Stranger than fiction.

Under the Dome revolves around the residents of Chester’s Mill as they are suddenly sealed off from the outside world when a giant dome mysteriously forms around the town. Nobody can get out and nobody can get in. President Obama has been left on the cutting room floor of new CBS drama, Under the Dome. In the pilot of the new drama, an audio clip featuring US president, Barack Obama was supposed to feature in a fictional news broadcast, however, it has since been decided that the clip is to be cut from the episode. UK broadcaster, Channel 5, has acquired the exclusive UK broadcast rights to the upcoming CBS drama, Under The Dome.

Click to see in action. Note where it ends - perhaps that's why NZ is experiencing it's earthquakes?

Missile Shield Anomaly in the South Pacific? I started checking for electromagnetic sources like HAARP signals but could not find a source that would explain the anomaly. Then, I remembered what the famous electrical energy inventor, Nikola Tesla, said he could make for the United States to defend it from airborne threats. Tesla said he could make and electromagnetic 'shield' over the country that would prevent foreign aircraft from entering our airspace. His idea was to establish a harmonic field emanating from a central broadcast point. Over a period of a few days the field would store electromagnetic energy in a dome-shaped field of standing waves. 

The theory proposed that any aircraft flying into that field above a certain speed would experience electrical shorts throughout circuits and would thus crash and burn. I remembered that his field would also generate an antipodal node/field on the other side of the planet from the transmitter. For an American based transmitter this would produce an antipodal field in the South Indian Ocean between Australia and South Africa. Suddenly, I wondered what would be the antipode of the temperature anomaly I was detecting in the SW Pacific. To my surprise it was a location in Romania. When I zeroed in on that location I discovered it is the site of the new US/NATO Missile Defense Shield at an abandoned air base near Deveselu, Olt, Romania. This wave might explain many of the anomalous electrical events people are reporting across the planet.