I Was A Highrise Window Cleaner In Chicago

I was a Highrise window cleaner in Chicago (by "Up_High"): Questions asked by the general public to a high rise window cleaner in Chicago. Grammatically modified & sorted for easier reading.

What is the craziest stuff you have seen going on in offices?

I've seen a man receiving oral pleasures from a female co-worker. I've seen a man jerking off in a vacant suite, nightmares for a week. And for some reason on this one building they decided to not black out the bathroom windows, so I've seen some screwed up shit there as well, lol.

Nightmares for a week? You must not be from the internet!

Well, seeing a guy jerk of online is different. in a sense You are prepared to see him fappin' away, but in real life outside of reddit, its unexpected and forced upon you, lol.

Awesome! What about your coworkers? Did they have any good stories?

So many... lol. When my boss was in his 20's about 30 years ago, he worked for a highrise company too. His boss would constantly follow them and spy to make sure they were working. So him and his co-workers came up with the idea to steal a manikin and clothe it then hang it off the buildings. According to his story, this worked for months, lol.

Oh, I traveled to Indiana for some work for a week. The first day on the very first drop I climb over and I hit in my head very hard. I figured a piece of concrete fell of the building due to it being an old building. When I looked up everything looked very normal, so I was just really confused. About 10 seconds later a falcon comes flying at me, claws first. I don't think I have ever been so terrified in my life. This falcon was about the size of a full grown water melon and was pissed. He kept flying inches from me for at least 5 minutes and the whole time I am screaming bloody murder. The guy at the hot-dog stand is staring at me like I'm retarded. Eventually the people inside opened the window and I had to crawl inside, lol. That week trip ended very abruptly & I went home, lol.

I've always wondered, how do you tell the difference between a falcon and a hawk?

Falcons are endangered and this building actually made a wooden home for it, but a couple years prior to this a different window cleaner was attacked and actually was cut and had about 20 stitches. So with what ever logic they decided to move the home across the street to a different building rooftop. However they forgot falcons can fly.

Any other "holy shit" moments while on the job?

Sure :) Some buildings are very hard to set up straight rope drops. So you have to improvise and create different sling lines and things to straighten your ropes out. I made a mistake one day and didn't pull out the slack out of my line. So when I went to climb over, I had about an extra 10 feet of slack left. That slack rope fell across my middle finger on top of the parapet wall. All of my weight was on the rope, pulling down on my finger. This building had no ledges or any thing to place my feet on to lift my weight up, so I was stuck there for about 5 minutes helplessly while my finger lost all blood flow. Finally, my co-worker came and helped pull me back up the wall onto the roof. My finger was flat as paper. I for sure thought I was going to lose it. But it regained blood flow and was fine after a few hours. I wished I took a picture of it.

Did anyone in the buildings ever jump out from behind a curtain and scare you?

Ehh, maybe once or twice, but usually it was the opposite. I have literally scared people so bad that they have fallen out of their chairs.

Have you dropped anything? Is it possible to get fired for sweating (or vomiting) so badly that you are literally raining onto people on the ground below you? If so, there is really no point in my applying for a job like this.

I have dropped 2 things in my 5 years of doing this. The first day I dropped my squeegee, thankfully I was on a small building facing an alley, so no harm done. The second thing I dropped was my cylinder. I was preparing to climb over and I accidentally kicked it off the roof about 15 stories down and it came within 2 feet of hitting my co-worker. Most highrise workers use what we call "idiot strings", that are just bungee cords that we attach to all of our tools so in case we do drop them they wont fall and hurt anyone. I can't say that I have ever seen anyone vomit or sweat so badly that it rains onto people. Most people who do this have very strong stomachs.

How many buildings does a single window cleaning team service? Are there buildings that are so big that they are constantly being cleaned?

Nice question, It all depends on size and the number of the crew/company. My crew consist of 4 people. We could knock out almost any building within 1-3 days. So we probably service between 50-80 buildings a year. However a lot of these are repeated twice or even 3 times a year. Yes, many buildings are so large that they are constantly being cleaned. a good example of this is the Trump Tower in Chicago. They almost have a crew their every other week.

I heard that the Golden Gate bridge is painted year round because it takes so long. Would you ever take on that job, I bet being over the ocean would be nuts!

I would, it's a easy and fun job. Last summer me and one other had to pressure wash a 15 story bank top to bottom, every inch. It took us about 1 month, and then we had to seal the building and wash the windows, lol. I personally don't mind long term job sites but they do become boring quickly.

What made you want to work the job? You must have some serious cojones.

Well, I was fresh out of high school and I had to get a job. I was good friends with the owners son, so I figured I would give it a shot. After about 3 months of working low rise (stores and houses) I was moved up to highrise and after another month or so I was promoted to supervisor. And yes my balls are quite large. ;)

Have you ever been flashed?

Yep! best day of work ever, haha.

Can I get some pro tips on cleaning glass. I work for a glazing contractor and we stick to industrial glass cleaner and paper towels. Razor blades and occasionally denatured alcohol. I have a squeegee and fluff bar, but want some tips for using them without making a mess.

Sure, Believe it or not, Dawn dish soap is the best for cleaning glass. This applies for residential, Industrial and store fronts. Fill a 5 gallon bucket about 3/4ths and then squirt a fairly small amount of dawn or whatever dish soap you prefer. Stir it up with your mop (fluffbar). Wet both sides of your mop then proceed to wet and scrub the window. Depending on the glass, scrape it with your razors and apply any necessary acids. Then squeegee it off. Obviously it's kind of hard to explain how to squeegee, but the main goal is to put your squeegee on the glass once, On once and off once, and take the least amount of swipes as possible. I'm right handed and I start around the far left mid of the window and go up to the top left corner to the top right corner, down to the bottom right corner back up and left-right my way down 'til I'm finish. You will probably have better luck 'youtubing' a tutorial. But realistically, You have a mop soaked with water, your bound to spill water. Just bring towels/rags with you and try your best to be neat. I hope I answered your questions :)

Was there anyone on your crew with a fear of heights?

Good question. Quite a few people who had no experience would apply for the job thinking that it was easy or didn't take any balls. So we would give them the benefit of the doubt and give them a shot. We would set their gear up and have them ready to jump over the building. Many of these people would just walk away... and we would never hear from them again. Some would break down in tears, and even one guy pissed him self.

Just how dangerous is this job? I don't recall ever hearing about a window cleaning accident. And if it is dangerous, I am guessing you're getting payed well. How much do you make... let say... per month?

If you know what your doing, it's a pretty safe job. However the simplest mistake will really hurt you. If you 'youtube' window washers or something a lot of accidents will probably show up. On the contrary, pay is rather low for the risk. In a month before taxes and insurance I would make roughly $2500 - $3000.

Ever do anything exciting on the lift-thingy?

I did most of my work off of a bosom chair. Basically, I hang from 2 ropes and sit on a chair the size of my ass. I have done some crazy stuff on that though, lol. Some Tony Hawk 900's and crazy swat jumps, so much fun.

I was thinking more inappropriate stuff but that was an interesting response. I think I would shit myself if I was sitting in a chair with two ropes hanging off it cleaning a window on huge skyscrapers.

Well, as much as I would love to fool around with a girl on a skyscraper, I don't think too many girls would be down for that, lol. 99% of buildings we service are office buildings, so I think they might be angry, haha!

Ever see any good parties? Any banter?

Ive seen a boat party, they came back later at night when it was dark and the boat was packed. This was in Wisconsin.

Whats the hardest stuff to get off windows?

Probably oxidation. The acid we use burns thru skin and is the worst! I accidentally spilled some on my hand once, my skin is still scarred.

Ever wash the windows for the Willis Tower (all though you probably still call it the Sears Tower)? Any pics of that? The Skydeck is too damn expensive.

The will tower has automated window washing... if your lucky or patient you will see a rather large black box going up and down the building. I think renaming it was stupid and pointless. Most people still call it the sears tower and will probably always call it that. The SEARS tower has automatic window cleaning machines that scale the buildings.

I work on 209 W Jackson (Jackson and Wells). Done anything around there?

55E. Jackson, I do the Chicago theater across from Fox News. I actually might do 209, Is that a Marc reality building? If so I probably do it. I have quite a lot of Marc Reality's.

I'd love to come up with you once, just to see what it feels like.

I no longer do highrise or live in chicago ;( I moved to New Hampshire.

Which building(s) gave you your favorite view?

There's a 20 story building in Itasca that sits over a lake and you can see the Chicago skyline in the distance. I'll post pics when I get home. Here's an album of some of my favorite pictures.

How do you handle extreme weather (like strong winds, show storm, etc.)

Wind is a hell. Anything over 15 (wind speed) is NOPE. We will work in light rain as long as it doesn't effect our work. Once heavy rains come our gear becomes soaked and potentially ruined. Snow doesn't really effect us, although cold does. Once it becomes freezing temps. we have to use chemicals to prevent the water from freezing. Extreme heat also hurts us, Imagine turning your stove to high and dropping some water on it, it dissipates instantly. This is what happens when we apply water to windows in the summer sun ;( even if its not that hot out.

About 6 years ago, my crew was in Lafayette, IN, working on a 20+ story building. The weather was rather nice out, but a storm came in very fast while they were near the top of the building. By the time they got half way down it was pouring rain and the winds were 20mph+. Their ropes became tangled and they were stuck. The wind was so strong that it was pushing them around the corners of the building. Long story short the local fire department came along with ambulance and had to rescue them. They were to high for the ladders to reach them so they instead broke the windows out and pulled them inside. Pretty scary stuff.

First I must say you are so handsome... Do you always see some awful things in office?

Thanks, lol... I don't see too many awful things. We service mostly office buildings, so mostly just chubby guys typing away.

Wow, what are you doing at the moment?

I moved to New Hampshire last fall and I am studying to be an architect.

Why would you ever quit that job!?!?

Because its a dead end job.

How long does it take to clean an entire building's windows? (If you're comfortable answering this) how much did you get paid?

Each building is different in size, glass counts, shape, etc. There are so many different variables to account for, but with a crew of 4 experienced guys I can finish most average buildings within 2 days. I worked for a non union company and was making 15/hour.

Have you ever caught anyone naked or in the act of doing something illegal?

I caught a guy jerking off in a vacant suite once... that was pretty disturbing.

I work retail and have really bad dreams about work. Unable to close a sale, unhappy customers yelling at me for something I don't know even though I did... you know, weird dream shit. Do you have dreams about falling? Every time I think about heights, my asshole clinches up. Just a fun fact.

I never had full dreams about that kind of stuff. However I did day-dream and imagine shit quite a bit. But mostly right before the first time I ever climbed over. After that I became rather cocky while I was hanging. I did a lot of things that would have OSHA up my ass if they knew.

How do I get a job doing this? I can't seem to find a way to get into this industry?

Almost none will hire you for highrise if you have no experience. I suggest finding a company and start on low rise. Do that for about a year or until you have become very good and fast at washing windows. From there you should request to be put on highrise, if you're good enough I'm sure they will be more than happy to train you. But yeah, it's not something you can just do, there's a few prerequisites.

How's the pay? Seems like a pretty chill job if you can handle it, dangling from ropes while you listen to tunes. Ever thought you were going to fall? Ever heard of anyone falling?

I was paid $15/hour out of a non union company. Union makes $17+ starting. So I was being shorted quite a bit for my experience. Yeah, there's been a few times where I almost pissed my self. I would climb over the ledge and I would keep falling for 3-10 feet. Sometimes, if you do pull out enough slack you just sink, and its a really weird feeling, lol. There's nothing you can do but look down and pick a spot to land, lol...

My friend also worked as a high rise window cleaner. Back in the 80's. I asked him what was his biggest memory. He told me that while he was cleaning the window of a large high rise apartment building and through the window he could hear the phone ringing (before cell phones)....he saw this woman running out of the bathroom with her pants down to her ankles just to answer the phone....he saw this and she saw him where she jumped down b/w the bed and managed to pull her pants up. Needless to say he felt embarrassed for her but thought it was a funny sight.

Ya, I haven't seen to much of this type of stuff because we do 99% of office buildings, but every so often you will catch someone in the act doing something they shouldn't be.