The Halloween Window Cleaner

Neo-Gotham: A window washer—J.R. Elkins of G&M Window Service—dressed as Batman works on the 8th floor of the Wells Fargo Building in Lincoln, Neb. Elkins began the Halloween tradition of window washing in costume in 2002. Hoffman is a freelance photojournalist based in Portland, Ore.

Former Fergus Falls State Hospital source of many legends: The story is one Chris Schuelke tells while giving tours of the Gothic-looking edifice that for decades dominated both the Fergus Falls skyline and the region’s economy. The hospital’s long-vacant buildings and lonely, sprawling grounds appear at once imposing and more than a little spooky, even with a late-autumn sun still high in the sky. The vibe is a valid one, said Schuelke, executive director of the Otter Tail County Historical Society. He tells visitors the hospital’s past contains both light and shadow. “They did good work here,” he said. “But there are definitely dark instances at the state hospital.” His tours, which recently ended for the seasons, lean heavily toward the latter.

He called the former state hospital “a castle of questions” and says the institution’s mystique is something people find endlessly fascinating. Schuelke’s stories are taken directly from newspaper accounts and oral histories. “I’m not making stuff up,” he said, referring to tales of murder, escaped patients, suicides, lobotomies and shock treatments. The fact that disturbing things happened at the State Hospital shouldn’t be surprising, given it once housed 2,000 patients watched over by 500 employees, he said. “It was a tremendously large community,” Schuelke said. “Of course you’re going to have instances that aren’t pleasant.” And in another cleaning-related incident: A hospital attendant was washing a fourth-floor window when a patient was seized by a sudden desire to go through it. The attendant tried to stop him, but the patient succeeded in making the leap. The nurse was almost pulled through the window trying to stop him.

Shop forced to take down gory window display.

A window display too far: A Commercial Drive store owner was forced to take down his Halloween mock-up after it was plastered last week with photos of missing women, apparently because the bloody bed behind the display was too lifelike. Mintage Vintage’s year-round vintage displays have never been a problem before, said co-owner Skylar Stock. But last week, the vintage shop was bombarded with complaints, with some saying the storefront — which featured a bedroom splattered with fake blood — conjures negative images to victims of violence. “They plastered glue all over my window and then they plastered photographs all over my window,” Stock said, shocked after discovering the damage Friday. He’s since taken down the display for fear of further vandalism.

“As I was cleaning it off, there were people yelling at me calling me a typical f---ing male,” he said, adding there were many negative comments also scrawled on walls and the sidewalk. “I didn’t know whether or not they wanted to smash my window or firebomb my store, either way I don’t want to find out.” Protestors held signs calling for the display’s removal last week, citing missing and murdered women in the DTES, just hours before the window was vandalized. Stock said displays during previous Halloweens were equally grotesque. “Every year I do a window display, and every year people tell me what they think of it. … (This) gets beyond the realm of that.” The co-owner added he has not called police. A disclaimer has now also been put up on the storefront, saying displays are not intended to reflect real-life events. “I’m a victim of vandalism, that I can handle.”

Haunted Honolulu: Ricky L.’s friends lived in the Moana Pacific condominium and would see handprints on the glass outside, but figured it was from the window washers. They sometimes saw a shadow in their unit, but hoped it was their imagination. The last straw in a series of incidents happened one night, when their baby was crying, the wife went to the room to check on it, and saw a shadow standing over the baby, clearly a local guy, trying to calm it down. They moved out the next day.

Window Cleaning for 10 Panes - Crystal Clear Window Cleaning - Sold by LivingSocial. The Details: If your windows' cobwebs weren't meant to be Halloween decorations, rid your house of its haunted vibe with today's deal from Crystal Clear Windows: For $40 (regularly $100), have 10 of your window panes cleaned. It's spooky what can build up on windows -- grime, toxic dust, chemical residue, and pollutants. Let the friendly and professional Crystal Clear crew ease your filthy fears by leaving your panes as clear and glistening as a ghoulish ghost. The cleaning solutions used are never diluted, so you know you're getting the best clean imaginable. Cobweb-crawling spiders may terrify you, but today's deal will deliver a treat so outstanding you'll scream with delight.

“Bleeding” Cupcakes for Halloween: Provocative series like Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and True Blood have made vampires the sexiest thing since sliced bread that has been molded into the shape of a sensuous woman. That is why bleeding cupcakes are sure to win any Halloween/Sexy-Themed Baking Contest you might enter this week. They’re not only showy and delicious, but super simple to put together as well–just like the scripts for all those dramas. (I’m just kidding. Don’t bite me.) Here’s how:

1) Bake cupcakes using your favorite recipe.

2) Once cooled, dig a small lump of cupcake out of the top. Set the removed chunk aside.

3) Pour a little bit of an edible, reddish, runny substance, such as strawberry jam or cherry pie filling, into the hole.

4) Re-insert removed chunk.

5) Frost the top (thereby covering up the evidence of step 2).

6) Dip a toothpick into some of the leftover jam (filling, sauce, red icing, etc.) and stab the top of the cupcake twice to give the appearance of fang marks. Put these cupcakes out on your Halloween snack table and you will be crowned the buffet vampire slayer.

L. A. McMahon window washing services residential, commercial, apartments, condos and businesses of all types.