Can You Skip This Window?

Pull the covers over you and pretend you're asleep.

10 things you can do if your window cleaner catches you in the middle of sex: 13% of window cleaners have interrupted British couples having sex- so we take a look at your options if this happens:

Move into another room- Find another room in the house and CLOSE THE CURTAINS, then resume position. They will know what you're doing but at least they don't have to see your blurry silouhettes in the background while they soap the glass.

Shut the blinds- They've probably seen it all now but to save your blushes when they ask you for their fee- make sure you have some time to finish up and throw on a robe in privacy.

Laugh and wave- If you didn't laugh you would cry with embarrassment so just have a good giggle and move on. Everyone has sex after all so it's nothing to be ashamed of. You've locked eyes now there's no going back.

Carry on- How long does it take to clean a window anyway? Probably about as long as your sex session usually lasts…. It will be over soon enough.

Pull the covers over your heads- And wait until an appropriate amount of time has passed.

Pretend you’re asleep- And you both just toss and turn a LOT during your afternoon naps. 

Pretend you were doing something else- If you act quickly enough you might be able to fool them into thinking you were just reading at a peculiar angle or you know, routinely checking your partner's prostate.

Ask them to skip that window- You could cover your dignity, open the window and ask them to leave that one for another week. On a day when you're partner's not dipping his squeegee in your bucket

Leave the money with a neighbour- If you have the same window cleaner, you could ask your neighbour to pass on your share if you trust them enough to do so. That way you still get the job done but you don't have to speak to them EVER again.

Get a new window cleaner- If all else fails- tell them this will be their last call at your house- they will understand and probably be grateful that they didn't have to instigate your break up.

Also see: 1 in 10 UK Customers Caught By Window Cleaners

1 in 10 UK Customers Caught By Window Cleaners

14 per cent of people have been caught on the toilet by their window cleaner. Unsurprisingly, a quarter of those who have been spotted by their window cleaner have been so ashamed they have never used them again.

What the window cleaner saw! Two thirds of the nation caught out not closing their blinds - When you are carried away in the heat of the moment, the last thing you think about is your window cleaner.

But 13 per cent of Brits probably wish they had been after being seen having sex by their window cleaner. The embarrassing discovery was made by DirectBlinds, who surveyed over 1000 people. The shame doesn’t end there as a surprising 14 per cent have been seen on the toilet.

When asked why they were caught out, the majority felt a false sense of security as the window cleaner visited unexpectedly, with others simply forgetting to close their blinds. And unsurprisingly, a quarter of those who have been spotted by their window cleaner have been so ashamed they have never used them again.

Window cleaners themselves are not too bothered by what they have seen and 40 per cent laugh it off. But a small percentage have been so shocked by the sights through the window that they almost fell off their ladders.

One brave man shared a story about being seen through the window in a compromising position. Dale Fisk, 27, from North Yorkshire said: “Around four years ago I was on holiday with my wife in Cape Verde, where I proceeded to get sunburnt and then a bit drunk on cherry brandy. “We retired to the room, where I thought it would be a good idea to strip off and dance around naked-until I realised that the windows of our ground floor apartment were in the middle of being cleaned.

“I was mortified, but the window cleaner held in his laughter, finishing the job and leaving without making eye contact!” The window cleaner revelations come as sloshed stags are revealed to drink a month's worth of alcohol during one stag weekend.

One in ten people in the UK have been caught having sex by the window cleaner.

UK Window Cleaner Filmed Stealing Credit Card

Checking that the coast is clear before leaning in

Window cleaner thief caught on film: A thieving window cleaner was caught red-handed stealing from one of his customers after a suspicious neighbour filmed him leaning through an open bedroom window. Leighton Cuthbert leaned into Adrian Neal’s home in to grab a credit card which he used on a spending spree. But the whole episode was caught on camera by a neighbour who grew suspicious of the 30-year-old and the time it was taking for him to clean three panes of glass. Mr Neal, who works for aerospace firm Goodrich, which is based in Fordhouses, Wolverhampton, cancelled his credit card but not before Cuthbert made £150 of purchases including pizzas, and topping up his phone.

Shrewsbury Crown Court was told Cuthbert called at the home of Mr Neal, 57, on Trevithick Close in Woodside, Telford, last August to clean his windows. Cuthbert, of of Mullinder Drive, Ketley Bank, Telford, was yesterday jailed for 14 months after pleading guilty to one charge of burglary and five charges of fraud on August 26. After the hearing Mr Neal said: “I thought it was the window cleaner but I could not prove it until my neighbour came out and said he had the video.” Neighbour Mr Andrew Mitchell, aged 57, who runs his own cleaning company, said: “He was a chancer because the windows were slightly open.”

Leighton Cuthbert leans in to steal a credit card.

Mr Mitchell caught a man burgling Mr Neal’s house on his mobile phone.

A Window Cleaning Service Experience - A Customer Speaks

Through Dirty Window Screens; I Can See Clearly Now By Laurie Kapugi: After a bad experience with a window washing service, the company tried to salvage me as a customer, did they succeed? I’m one of those customers that will go out of my way to recommend a company that has done great work for me. On the flip-side; if the service was below average I will not recommend, and most likely inform people of the sub-standard experience I’ve had in the past. I recently had some routine work done around my house that fell into the sub-standard category. My dilemma in this situation is the fact that the prior year this same company did an outstanding job. I will not throw anyone or any company under the bus in this column, but I will include the fact that I had my windows washed. My house has three stories so I leave the window washing to the professionals. This columnist has a fear of heights!

Last year a team of five people showed up at the scheduled time. They went right to work and washed the inside and outside of my windows and they took all the screens off and scrubbed them clean with soap water and a brush. The screens dried and were reinstalled and the job was complete. Total time for the task was one and a half hours. I was thrilled. I put them in my calendar to call in April for another cleaning. 

The first scheduled appointment didn’t happen because it was raining. We rescheduled for the following week and all was well. The day of the new appointment they arrived within the scheduled time, but much to my surprise it was a team of one! I decided to go with the flow and let the gentleman get to work. He started counting my windows and then informed me my front windows were going to be sixty dollars each! How could that be when last year they were ten dollars? I decided to call the company and they informed me I was correct. They called their employee and informed him of the correct pricing. He went to work and five and a half hours later I saw him reinstalling my screens. I was confused by this because he never used my hose outside to clean the screens. I questioned him and he informed me, “I used a dry brush to clean them.”

Now I was extremely upset. Not only was I a prisoner of my home for five hours, but he tried to over-charge me for the window cleaning, and then didn’t clean the screens with soap and water. I paid extra for the screen cleaning and it was not done correctly. I called the home office again and they apologized and told me they would speak to the employee about the proper way to clean the screens. At this point I didn’t want to wait around the house for another two hours to have the screens removed, cleaned properly, dried and then reinstalled so they offered to remove the fees from the final price. I had a long conversation with a supervisor about the experience I had with their company the previous year versus this current service. She understood why I was upset and offered to have someone else come out and clean the screen the next day. I politely informed her that I wasn’t able to stay home for another day. She told me she would call me in one week to set-up the appointment. I hung up feeling the problem had been resolved and eventually my windows and screens would be cleaned the proper way.

Fast forward three weeks from my phone call to the supervisor. I never received a phone call to set-up my new appointment. I decided I would email the company to let them know they lost a customer. Of course, they quickly responded with an offer to come out in the next few days and all I would have to do is call and confirm. After all the time I had invested in my window washing this year I felt it was best to let this one go and move on. I never called or responded to the email and it’s no surprise that they never called or followed up with me after I didn’t respond. If they followed up I thought I still might be able to do business with them. I guess they didn’t want my business after all.

This kind of experience and lack of true customer service drives me crazy. I understand that at times there are problems and things go wrong, but that is what a customer service department is for. I was reasonable after multiple problems. I was polite and I agreed to let them make good on their promise, yet they did not deliver, or even follow through in the end. If I am the customer, why am I doing all the follow-up? A good customer service department stays one step ahead of the customer, not two steps behind.

Unfortunately, I have experienced far too many scenarios like the one above. Usually it’s a first time experience and not a second experience though. In today’s world it is so easy to get in touch with customers . We have phones, cell phones and emails. My dentist even sends me text messages to remind me of appointments. So why is it in this world filled with so many ways to communicate; companies don’t communicate with their customers? If anyone out there knows of a window washing service please send me an email with their information, I’m going to need it next spring!