Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Can You Skip This Window?

Pull the covers over you and pretend you're asleep.
10 things you can do if your window cleaner catches you in the middle of sex: 13% of window cleaners have interrupted British couples having sex- so we take a look at your options if this happens:

Move into another room- Find another room in the house and CLOSE THE CURTAINS, then resume position. They will know what you're doing but at least they don't have to see your blurry silouhettes in the background while they soap the glass.

Shut the blinds- They've probably seen it all now but to save your blushes when they ask you for their fee- make sure you have some time to finish up and throw on a robe in privacy.

Laugh and wave- If you didn't laugh you would cry with embarrassment so just have a good giggle and move on. Everyone has sex after all so it's nothing to be ashamed of. You've locked eyes now there's no going back.

Carry on- How long does it take to clean a window anyway? Probably about as long as your sex session usually lasts…. It will be over soon enough.

Pull the covers over your heads- And wait until an appropriate amount of time has passed.

Pretend you’re asleep- And you both just toss and turn a LOT during your afternoon naps. 

Pretend you were doing something else- If you act quickly enough you might be able to fool them into thinking you were just reading at a peculiar angle or you know, routinely checking your partner's prostate.

Ask them to skip that window- You could cover your dignity, open the window and ask them to leave that one for another week. On a day when you're partner's not dipping his squeegee in your bucket

Leave the money with a neighbour- If you have the same window cleaner, you could ask your neighbour to pass on your share if you trust them enough to do so. That way you still get the job done but you don't have to speak to them EVER again.

Get a new window cleaner- If all else fails- tell them this will be their last call at your house- they will understand and probably be grateful that they didn't have to instigate your break up.

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