Transparency Enhancement Facilitators - Window Cleaners

Did the media distribution officer deliver your newspaper this morning before the domestic technician headed off on the school run? These are just two of the bureaucratic - and often politically correct - new job titles now spreading like a deathly grey plague through British life.
They were revealed today in a list based on a four-month survey of genuine job advertisements.
Each title covers an ordinary, everyday role which has been given a puffed-up new name by employers - presumably in the hope of attracting applicants foolish enough not to see straight through the ruse. A spokesman for said: 'These job titles are absolutely barmy. Some have been bubbling around for a few years but now the practice of dreaming up an utterly bonkers title seems to have gone into overdrive.' Window cleaners have been rebranded as Transparency Enhancement Facilitators while labourers have been labeled Mortar Logistics Engineers.

Empire State Building gets a green makeover to cut CO2 emissions: The Empire State Building, the symbol of New York's pre-eminence that held the title of the world's tallest skyscraper for 41 years, is seeking to pierce through the pall of economic gloom that has descended on Manhattan by turning itself green. The owners of the building announced yesterday they were investing an additional $20m to reduce its carbon footprint and energy consumption. The retrofit is being added to a renovation of the art deco structure that starts this summer already costing half a billion dollars. The plan aims to cut the use of energy by almost 40%, which would in turn reduce the emissions of CO2 from the building by some 105,000 metric tonnes a year. That is no easy feat, bearing in mind that the Empire State has some 6,500 windows. All the windows will have an extra layer of insulation added by secreting a coated film between two glass panes - done in situ to avoid pollution caused by transporting the glass from an outside destination.

Thanks for coming to aid: A MUM of two young children is desperate to thank a Good Samaritan who helped her partner after a crash which left him needing hospital treatment. Window cleaner Robert Nobes (27) cannot remember any details about the crash, but has been told he may not have survived if he had not been wearing a seatbelt. It appears his red Peugeot 306 spun onto its roof and hit a tree and he may have left the scene in a state of shock. He and partner Nika Melluish (24) believe someone must have found him wandering and called 999. She said: “If he didn’t have his seat belt on he wouldn’t have a face left. It’s hard to take in especially when we don’t know exactly what happened. We would really like to thank the person who helped him.” Mr Nobes, of Dunns Lane, North Creake, crashed on the B1153 between Great Bircham and Flitcham at around 6am on Saturday. He suffered knocks to his head and ripped the skin off one hand and was treated at Lynn’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital. If you are the person who helped, contact Miss Melluish on 07765 556973.

Steps to a frugal lifestyle: From entertaining at home to growing your own veg, Hannah Ricci shows how you can cut back on costs without sacrificing your quality of life. With the economy showing little sign of recovery, now is an ideal time to overhaul your lifestyle for a simpler way of life. In fact, more and more people are shunning the consumerist, spendthrift existence that has developed over the last century or so, and embracing a back-to-basics lifestyle to combat the economic slowdown by saving money and reducing waste. That’s right: it’s now cool to be frugal. Staying in is the new going out, charity is the new designer fashion and saving is the new spending. So, to assist you on your way to thrifty living. If you employ a gardener, window cleaner or dog walker, or use a car wash, for example, consider whether you’re paying for a service you don’t need. In many cases, you can probably do it yourself. If you haven’t already done this, it’s a sure-fire way to make some savings.

Teen entrepreneur program teaching big business: A group of Las Vegas entrepreneurs are taking a special class to help them learn the rules of business. But it may surprise you to learn these students are just high schoolers. News 3's Katherine Whaley reports that these teens are already making a mark on the business community. These teens haven't yet earned their high school degree. But they could give just about anyone a lesson in business. Jocelyn Gonzales is creating her own window washing company, thanks to the Teen Entrepreneurs of Las Vegas program. "If I say I'm going to do this I have to do it. I can't fail," says Jocelyn. "I never thought I'd actually be doing it." Weekly classes teach her and 20 other students how to thrive in today's economy. The program is the idea of Lydia High, an accountant who wanted to share her business with a new generation. The idea is to help students make money by doing what they love.

Learning how to grow shellfish: East Hampton resident Jeff Mulligan, who recently sold his window-washing business and is deciding what to do next, said that he’d recently heard that Suffolk County is leasing out underwater land it owns to shellfish farmers. “It’s a lot more complicated than it looks,” he said. “But it’s one of the things I’m looking at.” The East Hampton shellfish hatchery, which was established in 1986, seeds about 10 million clams, 2 million oysters and half a million scallops into the bays each year. The success rate varies, but Mr. Dunne said that he only expects about 20 percent of the clams to survive. “Their field survival is not great, but we don’t have data on predation versus harvest,” he said.

Good advertising if you can get it! London Window Cleaners Giving 100% Accurate Quotes Over The Phone With A Guarantee To Keep Them Clean For 4 Times As Long. Using the latest satellite imaging technology the london based window cleaning company NCPM247 are able to offer clients 100% accurate quotations for window cleaning in all london areas. Ncpm247 seem to be leading the way forward and bringing window cleaning into to 21st century, never before has a london window cleaner been so technologically advanced. The other thing that puts NCPM247 ahead of their competition is the use of a Hydrophobic glass tratment that once applied actually repels rain water and keeps windows clean for much longer than without. Usually after just one down poor of rain clean windows will be dirty again but not so with ncpm247's methods! Rain water actually helps keep the treated windows clean as it can no longer stick to the glass surface and any dust on the surface is simply washed off by the rain itself.

Another chance to rappel down River House in downtown Grand Rapids: Michigan Community Blood Centers and River House Condominiums are again allowing people to donate $1,000 to rappel down the face of the city's tallest building. This year's event, dubbed "Hope on a Rope" is set for June 6. The event is similar to the rappelling event held last fall that had yours truly hanging by a thread. If you're in northern Michigan, the Grand Traverse Resort and Spa near Traverse City is hosting a similar fundraiser that will allow participants to rappel from the 17th floor of the resort's hotel tower. Both events are being coordinated by Over the Edge, a Canadian firm that produces such events all over the continent. The people from Over the Edge and the local crews from Ground Climbing Center and Award Window Cleaning Services were incredibly professional and reassuring during my plunge.

Red Sox brings couple together in Harvard Square wedding ceremony: Coveney, 47, and Dugas, 33, met when Dugas joined Cardullo’s “chair club,” an informal sitting area set up in front of the gourmet shop to allow passersby to watch Red Sox games on the flat screen in the shop window. “Dennis has touched a lot of people’s lives. He’s been around for years and years,” said Francesca Cardullo, the store owner. “They’re a wonderful couple and would help anybody.”Coveney knows everyone in Harvard Square. He works at Cardullo’s washing windows and started the chair club in 2005, watching the games in front of the shop by himself until more and more people joined him. Video...