Tight Arse Companies Just Don't Want to Pay

"The fact that the Lenox Township offices were designed with some very high and hard to reach windows is creating a lack of solid bids to wash and clean them this spring." It's a common problem - companies are just too tight arsed to get the job done professionally or with safety in mind. Not a problem for professional window cleaners, not even high for the professional window cleaner! Click to enlarge.

Lenox laments lack of bids to clean complex windows: While the Lenox Township offices hold the distinction of being the first Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design-, or LEED-, certified town hall in the state of Michigan, at the moment, the sky-high windows are proving to be a bit troublesome. A recent board of trustees meeting had officials discussing the difficulty they are having in hiring a cleaning firm to spruce up the windows throughout the building.

The $4.2 million facility completed in 2008 includes 19,500 square feet and was designed by French Associates in Rochester. The Lenox offices have many green building features, including the natural light produced by so many large energy efficient windows. “These are not easy windows and this is the problem here, we have to have specialty equipment come in and just, well, the design doesn’t add to maintenance here,” Supervisor Ronald Trombly said.

Deputy Supervisor Jeannette Ventimiglia told officials she received several quotes for the window-cleaning contract so far, including a recent one that had the company concerned about how they might be able to safely reach the highest windows. “The ones giving him the most difficulty are those really tall ones, the small windows way up there because the roof on the outside is slanted and there’s nothing for them to secure themselves so they don’t fall, so those windows are extremely difficult to get to,” Ventimiglia said.

A second, higher quote from another company was presented to officials and Ventimiglia said the firm didn’t express any concerns, and in fact, said they could reach all the windows for cleaning. She also noted two other companies who were supposed to come out for a quote, but haven’t yet. “I don’t know what you want to do – wait for our meeting in two weeks and hopefully by then we will have some more (quotes)?” Ventimiglia said. “Otherwise we’ll have to wait until August,” offered Trombly.

Trustee Chris Boyd wondered if officials should consider not worrying about the high windows for now and just skip those and do the lower ones at considerably less cost. “I’m just looking at this and the price of this, can’t say it really surprised me because of all these windows, but it is still quite expensive,” Boyd said.

The lack of consistent bids for the contract, including several firms not showing up as promised to bid on the project concerned Trombly, who said after a while officials just have to go with what information they have in order to proceed with the work. “This is a very unique building and it’s very difficult to get to some of these windows,” Ventimiglia said. “There’s very little area to put anything to get up high and just makes it very difficult, slanted roofs, everything.”

The higher windows have never been cleaned on the outside before, according to Trombly. Clerk Jodi Kethe said it definitely needs to be done. “I don’t particularly care for the price, but I also know that the cleaning company, what she’s proposing, isn’t good enough being the windows have never been washed,” Kethe said.

Ventimiglia then asked if perhaps officials just want to do the lower-level windows now, get more quotes and then decide at the August meeting how to proceed with the rest of the project. “I think the best bang for the buck is getting them all done at once in a package deal that way we have a date when they’ve all been done and we go from there,” Trombly said. “Start piecing them out I don’t think it will accomplish what we need to.”

Treasurer Karon Ottenbacher said that because they’ve waited this long, she suggests just getting all the quotes together and looking at the issue in August. Kethe then made a motion to table the matter until all the bids come in; the board unanimously approved the motion. The next regular board of trustees meeting is set for Monday, Aug. 4 at 7:30 p.m.

Window Cleaning For Tight Arses

Window Cleaning: Fun for the whole family! Or slave labor?

Window Cleaning: This is the process of cleaning a window - It's not funny... because how the hell do you make window cleaning funny? Just The Facts:

• Window Cleaning in England is done by a cartooon character who likes to invent shit.
• Don't clean your windows with god damn newspaper. You moron.
• Spyware sucks, this isn't about MS Windows.

Window Cleaning Basics - for BEGINNERS

First you need a squeegee. You can purchase a REAL squeegee from your local hardware store. Look for a brand name such as Ettore or Unger. Some of these will still be consumer grade so try to find one that looks like this:

If you can't find one there, you're screwed and you fail at life... or you could try another store. Whatever, Captain Hero who's too cheap to just hire a window cleaner.

Next you need your cleaning "water" or solution. While I would recommend a professional (shock) solution, you can get by with dish soap and water. You only need a few drops of dish soap for a gallon of water. I mean a FEW DROPS literally. Literally means, I said exactly what I mean. If you put too much soap in the water you'll end up making your windows worse. Don't be that guy.

Your applicator. For this you can use a dish towel. A professional scrubber is recommended but we've already established that you're a cheap bastard since you're here reading up on how to do it yourself anyway. The Ettore Golden Glove(tm) or Porcupine work terrific. You can purchase a scrubber and a t-bar to hold the scrubber for about $10-$15 online. Google is your friend... so they say.

Apply the solution to the glass using your applicator. If using a dish towel, use circular motions, turning to a clean section of towel often to help avoid moving the dirt around on the glass and potentially scratching it. Hell if I know if circular motions work better but it worked for f*cking Karate Kid so it'll god damn work for your money-saving lonely ass. Use either the squeegee tip or a dry rag to wipe either the top or the side edge of the glass to create a "dry channel". This is where you will begin each squeegee stroke. Yeah Beavis, I said stroke.

This seems like common sense, but since you're probably just shy of getting a handicap placard... Remove the solution from the glass using the squeegee. Start at the top or the sides and pull straight across the glass (or straight down). This is called a "straight-pull" and it is how most window cleaners start. After each swipe of the squeegee, wipe it on a cloth. The cloth can be dry or slightly damn. Repeat the squeegee motions until you have removed the liquid from the surface of the glass. Grab a beer, you're almost done.

Use a dry cloth to wipe the edges of the glass. You can do this while they're wet or dry but either way, if you don't wipe the edges, where the glass is held in place by the window frame, you could end up with a dirty line on each edge. Just wipe them. I think it's easier when they've dried but to each his own.

Congrats, you've just saved about $5. Now clean the other 20 windows in your house the same way, being careful not to fall to your death from a ladder and you'll have saved $100 or more! Put out of your mind that what takes a window cleaner an hour to do, will take you an entire weekend. Crank the Nickleback and get to work cheapskate.